I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
