Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
