p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
