it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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