so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
