I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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