i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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