I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
