Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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