i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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