She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
