I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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