As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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