I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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