Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
