i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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