Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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