I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
