you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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