im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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