they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
