Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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