Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Holy shit dude........stairs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
