Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
