So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
