I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
