I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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