Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
