At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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