She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
