do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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