Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
