Say something about gay babies.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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