My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
