Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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