its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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