"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
