is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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