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How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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