3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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