is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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