its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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