I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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