is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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