You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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