theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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