her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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