i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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