my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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