I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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