My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her