Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster. http://tfl.nu/3vkx
  Replies (22) Good night (4223) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  it was like his penis was on wheels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): it was like his penis was on wheels. http://tfl.nu/carq
  Replies (13) Good night (3345) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Even the bartender felt bad for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Even the bartender felt bad for me http://tfl.nu/mj4v
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (5029)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  suggestion: become a stripper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed. (508): suggestion: become a stripper. http://tfl.nu/xaou
  Replies (22) Good night (4663) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them http://tfl.nu/hras
  Replies (41) Good night (4235) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored. http://tfl.nu/j0xj
  Replies (8) Good night (4751) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses. http://tfl.nu/a1yl
  Replies (11) Good night (3662) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v
  Replies (20) Good night (3654) Bad night (1957)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7
  Replies (21) Good night (2243) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating. http://tfl.nu/dthl
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C. http://tfl.nu/wowt
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator http://tfl.nu/9f4r
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays. http://tfl.nu/jpwh
  Replies (12) Good night (650) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night http://tfl.nu/pi3r
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (289)

Randomize