Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO