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so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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