U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's