Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go