I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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