Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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