the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
