i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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