I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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