Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Your cock deserves a montage
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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