he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I fill condoms, not promises.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
