fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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