On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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