Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
soo... how was my night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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