How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
