Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
