Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
