I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
