wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me