The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.