So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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