Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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(303): View more from Colorado

marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.

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(406): View more from Montana

Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.

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